


Compromised?

by AnimeNerd666 (CrystalNavy)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:55:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/AnimeNerd666
Summary: The Warriors think they're compromised.(Various cracky scenarious centered around this.)
Relationships: Annie Leonhart & 104th Training Corps, Bertolt Hoover & 104th Training Corps, Reiner Braun & 104th Training Corps, Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover & Annie Leonhart
Kudos: 11





	Compromised?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the group discuss how appealing Titan asses are.

Ymir was the one who started the whole thing.

They were in the middle of the training, when a Titan appeared in their middle. It had a round, firm ass, and Ymir couldn't help but remark on this.

"I wish I could squeeze..." she sighed dreamily

This, of course, sparked a discussion about the topic at hand.

"I wonder if the other Titans have cute asses." Krista said "I wouldn't mind checking it out."

"What's your ideal Titan ass, Krista?" Connie interjected

"Well, my ideal Titan would have a small ass, just like the rest of its body." Krista began "And would preferably have long, dark-brown locks I can run my fingers through..."

No one knew that the Titan she was describing was nearer than they thought. No one except herself, Ymir and the Warriors.

Ymir blushed.

"What about the one you call 'Armored Titan'?" she asked "Surely some of you have had a chance to see what its ass was like?"

"I did." Eren said "It was red..."

"Did it look firm?" Ymir threw an arm around Krista's shoulders

"Yeah." Eren admitted "It was firm and round..."

"I wish I had been there, so I could have touched it." Connie announced

"What about the Colossal Titan?" Krista asked 

"I had a chance to see its ass once." Ymir said "It was big and it looked like a big apple....delicious..."

Bertolt, who was standing behind the group, sweated.

He edged closer to Reiner.

"They are talking about our asses..." he said quietly

"Yes, I know." Reiner replied just as quietly, looking thoughtful "Do you think Krista would want to tap my Titan's ass?"

"Reiner, this is serious!" Bertolt whispered frantically "They could know! We could have been compromised!"

"Relax." Reiner assured him "They won't find out anytime soon."

Then he grinned.

"Wouldn't you want to tap the Female Titan's ass, Bertl?" he proceeded to ask

Bertolt looked mortified.

"He would." Ymir suddenly plopped down next to him "And I probably would too, if I hadn't met my Krista."

She turned to Reiner.

"By the way, Marcel says 'hi'." she remarked casually "And he agrees that you have the best ass. It's one of the reasons he saved you, as he wanted the world to worship your ass."

It was Reiner's turn to be mortified.

"Relax, just kidding." Ymir laughed, slapping Reiner's back

**-Omake: Hanji's opinion-**

Suddenly, Hanji was next to Eren, and no one could understand how she got there so fast.

"Did someone mention Titan ass?" she asked excitedly

There were several affirmative nods.

"We were discussing which Titan has the best ass." Krista explained "What is your opinion?"

"Krista, don't ask her!" Eren cried out, knowing what she'd say

And dreading it.

"Why, the answer to that is obvious!" Hanji giggled with glee "I am surprised none of you mentioned this Titan!"

She slung an arm around Eren's shoulder

"I mean, everyone would agree that the Rogue Titan has the best ass!" Hanji proclaimed

There were several thoughtful nods in response to that.

"Can't say I disagree..." Mikasa mumbled softly

Eren wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

Or better yet, swallow all of them.

Especially Hanji.


End file.
